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20 Ways to Be a Modern Chauvinist

1.  Believe that humanity is constantly getting better, and that each new era of history is better than the last. Progress is inevitable.

2.  Refer to any previous age that valued religion, cultural conformity, and family values as a “dark age,” “ignorant,” or “intolerant.”

3. View scientific naturalism as “rational” and “open-minded,” while anything metaphysical or religious is “childish,” “naive,” or “stupid.”

4.  Believe that the chief source of the ills of the world is religion, “intolerance,” or “unenlightenment.”

5.  Believe that every individual is autonomous, and that social and family virtues are “outdated.”

6.  Distrust any ancient source because it lacks modern “precision” or skepticism. In Christianity, this means that the modern historian knows more than the church fathers, Greco-Roman historians, or Jewish sources because he is more “rational” and has the latest discoveries.

7.  In the arts, if you are populist, emphasize the 60’s, “indie”, and Andy Warhol. If you are an elitist, emphasize John Cage and Jackson Pollock. A combination of the two views is preferred.

8.  Related to number 7, if art is “conventional,” “classical,” paleo anything, religious, traditional, or western, view it as “boring,” “regressive,” “irrelevant,” “unoriginal” or “oppressive.” By contrast, any art that is “shocking,” “provocative,” “activist,” “subversive,” “innovative,” or politically relevant is automatically genuine, inspired, relevant, and true artistry.

9.  Re-interpret western cultural history in lieu of number 8.

10.  Secular, egalitarian democracy based on an ever-increasing list of individual “rights” (the individual is autonomous, remember?) is the ultimate and perfect form of government. Any sort of hierarchy, religious system, or previous form of government is simply “anti-progress” and “bigoted.”

11.  Make sure you label those who oppose you with anti-intellectual or politically expedient stereotypes, including but not limited to: bigot, hick, racist, ethnocentric, xenophobic, homophobic, backwater, dark aged, anti-learning, anti-progress, anti-education etc…

12.  Make sure “love” = moral license, but moral laws = intolerance. Especially use this to undermine traditional, orthodox, Christianity.

13.  Related to number 12, make sure that “progressive Christians” that agree with you on many of these points are labeled “true loving Christians,” but traditionalists are considered “bigoted” or even better, “militant fundamentalist.” After all, an orthodox Christian should always be grouped with a militant Muslim, right?

14.  “Separation of Church and State” is your personal religion. Anything else makes one a Fascist or Theocrat.

15.  Make sure you bring up Hitler whenever possible as an example of “the extreme right.”

16.  Make sure that all previous western history is understood to be “Patriarchal,” “oppressive,” and “colonialist.” Make sure that those that are from the Christian and classical west hate their heritage and embrace “multiculturalism,” “democracy,” and “pluralism” as true enlightenment. This is especially important in the education system as the young are prepared to be global citizens.

17.  To ensure this hasn’t been forgotten, again, always use labels such as “hate,” “intolerance,” “racist,” “homophobic,” and others as much as possible to silence opposition, especially in reference to Christians and western traditionalists. Again, make sure an increasing list of individual “rights” is considered love. If possible, accuse someone who disagrees as “self-loathing.”

18.  Fulfillment is found in being true to yourself, expressing yourself, and making yourself happy. If you feel confused or unfulfilled about this, please seek someone truly scientific like a psychiatrist. Never become pious! Anyone who finds religion is “weak.”

19.  Make clear that while we can have precision and certainty on anything naturalistic, anything based on a Scripture or orthodox faith is “full of contradictions” because it lacks this precision.

20.  Finally, if you are feeling “down,” “depressed,” or “disillusioned,” with the enlightenment outlined above, and modern psychology hasn’t worked, do one of two things: Find a ton of hobbies to make yourself “busy” and be constantly entertained, or give up that you can know anything at all and embrace nothingness.

Does anyone care to add a few more? Any experiences with modern chauvinism?

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20 Comments

  1. Pastor Mike says:

    LOL! re: 19 – How are we supposed to have precision and certainty when we are still guessing about the gravity which keeps us glued to this planet and can’t even articulate what light is? Humanity only progresses toward death.

    • In the spirit of the list: “Well, if we don’t understand something yet it is because we haven’t “progressed” enough in our scientific understanding. Just give rational science some time and money, and we’ll have an answer. We might even be able to solve the death problem. Why we can even understand anything at all must never be questioned however…”

  2. nandrosa says:

    For fun and sobering (for moderns) reads:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unsolved_problems

  3. Nephos says:

    Great list! Related to a couple of these would be categorizing belief in the Bible with aliens, bigfoot, and horoscopes. I read such an article a while back that said scientists were worried about religion and aging being a contributing factor to scientific illiteracy.

    • That would be a good addendum for one of these, such as Mr. Hawking’s use of the term “fairy stories.” Another addition would be as you allude: rejecting materialist naturalism = scientific illiteracy.

  4. […] building, inherently conveys a message.   Such a view is highly unpopular in today’s age of modern chauvinism and pluralistic way of thinking, but this view was the most common one in the west (and in other […]

  5. […] evil behavior being praised as “diversity” or “choice.”  As noted in the post on modern chauvinism, if you oppose such evil, ultramodern “progressives” label you as […]

  6. […] in today’s climate.  In this case, an example of the modernist worldview is combined with modern chauvinism to create one of the most popular ideas found in world history surveys.  The common narrative […]

  7. […] Here’s a guest post from my brother who reflected upon what C.S. Lewis once called “chronological snobbery”.  Basically, it is a reflection  on an attitude that just because something is new or modern it’s better.  My brother in blood and faith wrote on this subject several months ago.  I am posting his blog with his permission and selecting my favorite 10 ways of his 20 ways.  Note, the tone is in jest and sarcasm.  You can find the full list here: https://hayesworldview.wordpress.com/2011/05/22/20-ways-to-be-a-modern-chauvinist/ […]

  8. Never ask about the ethics of new innovation. Simply do something because we can.

  9. […] In our first 20 ways found here, a fairly good list of what one must do to be a true modern chauvinist was arrived at.  In fact, the list is the most popular page on this entire site!  Due to some feedback from readers and people around, this list can be expanded by 5: […]

  10. Scholiast says:

    I have actually enjoyed the John Cage pieces for prepared piano. Mind you, I prefer Palestrina, Bach, Beethoven, et al, but there is a part of me that can sometimes enjoy certain pieces of 20th-century ‘classical’ music.

    On a related note, I once lamented the pop music played at the shop where I worked, and a co-worker asked what I preferred, and I expressed my enjoyment of Wagner. The response was, ‘Wagner’s good if you’re a Nazi.’

    • Have you read “The Spiritual Lives of the Great Composers” by Kavanaugh? A bit “devotional evangelical” for my taste at times, but very good otherwise. Wagner is surprisingly included.

  11. […] such as Thomas, Phillip, Mary, etc…Texts that have long been asserted by modern chauvinists as catalysts that supposedly cause us to question the teachings of Scripture and the Church.  Like […]

  12. […] Faithful orthodox Christians will become increasingly unpopular and unwelcome in the culture.  Modern chauvinists will try to marginalize, persecute, and ridicule those of us who hold to the faith and worldview that […]

  13. […] With very little variance, those on the right-hand side tend to take a “progressive” and “new” view on things such as women in ministry, sexuality, abortion, euthanasia, liberation theology, and the like.  The biblical text is considered “important,” or “central,” but modern chauvinist readings of the text and “alternative theologies” are accepted or even encouraged.  The classic consensus of the church (based on the Scriptures, the fathers, the ancient councils and creeds etc…) are given historical value, but are not part of an active, living and breathing faith handed down since the beginning.  This allows them to engage in politically correct sociopolitical actions, and to change theology on the whims of cultural trends.  Those who actually maintain the faith handed down are branded “(prefix)-phobic, patriarchal, oppressive, unloving” and many other favorite pet-labels of the modern chauvinist. […]

  14. […] to natural death.”  It is also safe to assume he will not be an advocate of such modern chauvinist causes such as “women priests” or many other modernist social agendas, since he is […]

  15. […] or “anti-progress” (progress is inherently good).  As discussed in several other places on this site, this tactic is a favorite for the modern chauvinist, and involves even deeper philosophical assumptions that come out of late modernity.   Two […]

  16. buggernan says:

    How to be a Christian Chauvinist: write a post like the one above.

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